Tuesday, September 13, 2011

[Relationship] Arguments: Daily Occurrences?

So here I have, one of the many topics an argument can spark. Let me know your verdict, will you?

Girl: Hey I need a favor to be done today. What time will you be free?
Guy: About 5-ish. Ok you let me know lah ok.

(Several hours later)

Guy: I'm meeting so-and-so later at 5pm. 
Girl assumed guy will get it done before/after the meeting, but she totally forgot to remind him.

(The next morning)

Girl: You forgot to get it done right?
Guy: But you didn't give me the details!

Here's my verdict. Guy was obviously defensive in his reply, which completely caught the girl by surprise and got her somewhat annoyed. Girl was in the wrong for allowing her own agenda slipped off her mind, but to her, why couldn't the guy admit he forgot as well before pointing out the girl's fault?

Bottom line's why was the guy so defensive and turn the table around instead?

What say you?


Anonymous said...

i still think nobody wins in this situation. even in any kind of relationship; parents-child, colleagues or friends.
it all boils down to effective communication skills. if that thing is deadly important, she must emphasise it to him.

Singa Crew said...

I think the guy should have been more specific when he said he would be meeting someone instead of assuming the girl would know for sure what he meant.

The girl shouldn't have assumed the guy would get it done.

There isn't really a right or wrong in this case. The guy probably felt a bit guilty about not getting the thing done and so he came off all defensive. Maybe the girl could ask him if he needed details to do the favour, why didn't he ask her at the beginning? But that might just lead to another argument...

Well, if I were in the guy's shoe, I would probably just say sorry and admit that whatever business I was engaged in caused me to lose track of time and consequently caused me to forget to do the errand.

Sometimes shit happens. :)

Anonymous said...

how many time i do not do what i want to do but do what i dont want to do

Anonymous said...

Girls make stupid assumptions sometimes. it all boils down to proper communication skills

Adam said...

People tend to be defensive when attacked and that was the dude's reaction to an attack in your dialogue.

Watch what happens if I were to change the last part of the dialogue from the girl attacking the guy to something far more subtle, you would see a completely different outcome:

Guy: I'm meeting so-and-so later at 5pm.
Girl assumed guy will get it done before/after the meeting, but she totally forgot to remind him.

(The next morning)

Girl: Hey you know the thing I mentioned yesterday? Were you able to do it?
Guy: Ah crap! I forgot all about it. Do you still need me to do it?


See? No more defensive, no more frowny faces.

With that said, if the dude is still defensive after that or if the gal still attacks him after this, then that's a whole other argument.