Monday, January 16, 2012

Heart Matters: Moving On

First love. That strange feeling that gives you giddiness and silly grins before and after every date, and 99% of the time in between when you think of him/her. 

But when our initial infatuation-turned-love fell short, we subconsciously open up our hearts to move on and fall in love again. Moving on from past relationships, or even career, is part and parcel of life. Different people have different ways of handling failed relationships – They either cut off all contacts (especially if it’s a bitter breakup) or their friendship remains, bounded by their beautiful moments together. The unfortunate fact is that many tend to get lonely/revengeful and attempt to desperately recapture that special moment by going into rebound relationships or being a third party solely for companionship (or just to show an old flame he/she is doing better than ever). 

No disrespect to those who are still happily madly in love with their first loves, but how many of such relationships manage to reach the wedding altar and continue to stay strong? In most cases, it’s all about toughening up and opening up your options in hopes of finding someone more compatible, and to love and be loved by someone who fits better in your life.

As I go deeper and deeper in my quest in seeking my own happiness, bittersweet experience from previous relationships forms an invisible barrier to protect myself from getting hurt. I'm not so good at taking rejections so I used to be very defensive and inexpressive towards my partner, right from my first break up (almost 6 years ago) until recently .. when I could tell he is sincere. For real.

Since then, life's beautiful ;)

Yours could too, but remember, happy relationships are not built in a day ;))

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together - Marilyn Monroe

P/S: We just spent our entire Sunday with his family, which, I thought was really a nice thing to do albeit a tad intimidating because I’m not very good at pleasing the elders. Either that or I'm extremely self-conscious!

Quote: When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand million reasons to smile :)


James-T said...

well written indeed!

ccc said...

i actually agree to everything you said there. i had a bitter closing after 5 years and she's my first. it's more than a year now and i still feel sour once in a while. i think it is fading away but i don't think it will ever disappear.

anyway, not to bore you with my story. hopefully i can meet someone in the future.

all the best to you.

Roy Ho said...

Did you play mahjong?

eRiCa said...

James-T: thanks ;)

ccc: I agree it's never easy to let go of someone who has made such significant impact in your life but with faith and patience, I'm pretty sure you will ;)

Roy: I didn't cause I don't know how to, but after a few sessions of watching them play, I know the basics of it ady hehe

Dr. Chin said...


An Italian word for "moments" and also a song by Andrea Brocelli. My favourite.

LIfe is made up of moments, ups or downs. Moments last only temporarily and before you realize, a new moment appears. The best way is to dance with life throughout these moments, and be present with each moments. It synchronizes with 'moving on' with each moment.

Dr. Chin