Tuesday, April 3, 2012


A childhood friend and myself talked for a bit about job, career, earnings, opportunities and the near future yesterday night and ..

*writer’s block

I don’t know how to continue despite having series of thoughts and questions in my mind since that night. I couldn’t pinpoint what the issue was, but what I do know is, I’m troubled.

Due to the very direct, predictable path chosen for me many, many years ago, I never had the opportunity to experience the different things in life. Don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly fine with my current job title and job scope, in fact, I never hesitated to let people know what I do but .. 

I am just not contented at where I am right now.

Maybe I was destined to be someone else / to do something totally different from what I'm doing now, say like a stewardess (my dream ambition when I was 17) or to own a stall selling char koay teow wtf.

My point is, just by that 30-min chit chat with that friend made me realize, academics and books only help in giving one the stepping stone but without things that really matter, such as interpersonal skills and wisdom (being street smart), academics will only bring you this far. I was brought up with a conventional mindset – that academic excellence guarantees a promising future, and that’s the way to go in life. Sure, I did my part and scored. My parents were pleased with me, heck even I was extremely pleased with myself. Then what? Get stuck with a 10-year bond, with not much options to choose from? To be in the office every single weekday from 9-5? 

I wished I had been more exposed to the outside world. I guess that’s the only regret I have right now. Looking back, my parents never condoned me hanging out with that friend during our schooling days, reason being, he and his group of friends weren’t the studious, hardworking nerds so they were afraid I would get influenced by them. I understand their concern and I totally see where they’re coming from but keeping me away from all the dangers and challenges didn’t help at all. Look at me, if I were to be dumped on the streets all by myself, I wouldn’t last a week.

That friend didn’t excel in his studies. He wasn’t enrolled into a prestigious university, nor did he secure a high-paying job the moment he graduated. But right now, his basic’s almost double of what I’m getting every month (I have yet to take his commissions into account). And the most important part was, he had that job satisfaction despite having to slog on weekends.

I’m still pondering on what I should do next.

Maybe I should just snipe a rich dude, divorced him and settle for that 50% :D


Good Samaritan said...

Hi, read your latest post - the most important thing to know is that you have a choice. You can either continue or quit, you have that choice. You just got to be brave. Plus, you know that your current job isn't something you want. So ask yourself this - what do you want? Know it, and work for it. You always have a choice. Read the Law of Attraction. It helped me. Good luck.

dexter said...

At one point, how much u earn with your career will become a second thing. The main concern here is how do really enjoy with what u doing and have full control about it.I been to very good uni twice in mylife for my degree but never finished it. I some how see something more important in life to be successful that i cant during my uni time.Knowledge is damn important but uni is not a place where u can get all of it.Today i am proud to say i am very happy with my income and the most important thing i damn happy with what i doing every day :)

Patrick ho said...

Least but not last,Pls dont hurt guy like that.refer to the last part.....that guy being dumped wll be haunted and go and hurt another girls.You want karma going round like this??

eRiCa said...

Good Samaritan: Thanks. Appreciate it .. will definitely go hunt for that book :)

Dexter: I'm not at that point yet but almost there i guess .. well, for me to have all these thoughts proves something right? anyway, glad that u get to do what u want. not many have that privilege ;)

Patrick: you DO know that was a joke .. right? if i really want to do that why would i be so dumb to announce it here on my blog -_-

Chiek90 said...

thanks to you, your post helped me to make my decision. I was wondering whether petronas is a good place to work in. :)

iliya said...

how willing are you to give up on certain things you have now to do something drastically different?

if you're not then such feelings will always be there. its common for most people to feel this way but very few are able to get out of it. many prefer to live in the confines of what they're familiar with. still, something is missing because life becomes banal and you do the same thing over and over again everyday.

if you think you missed out once, don't let it happen again. go become a stewardess or go back sell char koay teow.

its sad that society here makes us grow too old too fast.

you're only young once.

and please don't read the Law of Attraction, that's so mainstream and cliche. try delta of venus or picture of dorian gray or something.

ccc said...

it's ok erica.

i have been on the same field for 10 years and,

i am changing it this september.

it's exciting and challenging. i am too old for this!

eRiCa said...

Chiek: some people are really happy to land a job in this company, some aren't. i hope i did not influence u in the wrong way ;)

Iliya: i totally agree to that statement of yours "you're only young once". i think i would have the guts to make that drastic change after a couple of years, just not now, due to many underlying factors :(

ccc: lol it's never too late to make a change! if this is your chosen path, i'm happy for you :)

ccc said...

i'm not so sure myself. it's a major change. it's scary to expect the unexpected. i will work hard for it.

Chiek90 said...

im actually a utp student, thinking of where to do my internship after this sem. i don think i would like working in an environment like petronas, but im attracted to the pay any advice from a senior? :P

eRiCa said...

ccc: ganbatte! it will be a good change :)

chiek: haha i know who you are :P well, like i said, different people have different purposes in life, hence, you can't really rely on what others say but if you never try, you'll never know. being an intern at petronas might be able to give you a surface view of its working environment, people and mindset :)

Chiek90 said...

yeah i agree totally with what u said. haha din expect u to know my existence. anyway do you have gtalk? wanna ask u about something :)))

Wilfred Ng said...

Contentment will find happiness. Monetary driven aspiration will not necessary make one happy. :)