Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The Fear of Commitment

I honestly never thought I would have this little thing called the fear of commitment. I believe in happy fairytale endings and I've always wished for a happy family – one which will not be bogged down by financial worries or lack of love and attention.

As I grow older, I begin to see things from my very own perspective. When I settled down in KL in 2009, my exposure was at its peak - met a lot of people at the few social events I attended. I must say, some gave me quite a bit of a culture shock with their wild lifestyle and partying.

At that time, I thought that people at clubs/alcoholic events were no good, decent good boys were the way to go!

Boy, was I wrong.

In 2010, a guy I was seeing went on a flirting spree behind my back just a few days after we got together. I was caught off-guard because I simply did not see that coming, judging from his decent looks and the fact that we were pretty good friends (we were from the same university) for about 4 years.  

Since then, I had this really major trust issues with men. After dumping that cheater ex, I met this seemingly wild, playful guy at an event. I was afraid of him at first but he managed to prove otherwise. He completely changed my perception and proved that all these first impression and outlook judging thingy are total bullshit.

Because he turned out to be my best boyfriend so far.

But due to some clashes, things didn't work out. Oh well.

Now I’m starting to date again .. but deep inside me, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of bad surprises. My heart is quite fragile one lor. One more bad surprise and I’ll surely get a massive heart attack wtf.

Don’t get me wrong. I do not get cold feet at the thought of committing to one person, nor do I hate thinking about the future of my relationship i.e. marriage. It’s just .. well, that one bad case of cheating ex and heartbreak has left me paranoid since, and it takes a lot for me to overcome that and trust someone again.

Until I am able to overcome this trust issue, I have a tendency to pick on the tiniest matter – basically anything that has gotta do with handling advances and temptations – and will sometimes start an argument purely based on my paranoia.

I just made myself look like I can be a damn difficult girlfriend wtf.

Growing up is tough. I hope I can go back to school and just focus on books lol.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Make a Living, Living!

None of my recent activities are part of my plan to lead a “healthier” lifestyle. I had a few cheat meals, packed with either deep fried stuff or cholesterol laden seafood. Plus my recent trip to Penang totally did not and will not help in any way. But, I’m not going to be too hard on myself and will just .. well, tweak my diet plan accordingly lol.


 Super sinful pork noodle!

Another one - Pork ramen omgwtfbbq-fat-already! 

I’ve had a rather interesting week so far. My conversation with Geeky was mainly centered on faith and trust – that both are needed to make simply anything work, be it starting a career, making relationships work, pursuing an ambition or even a childhood dream.

So Geeky said that faith + trust = eternal love

Then he suddenly came up with this: Faith + trust + money + care = eternal love

HAHAHA wtf suddenly so realistic one lol. Harsh (and the reality is kinda sad lar) but it’s so true!

Speaking of which, my trip to Bali this December is confirmed! It’s actually for Geeky’s friend’s wedding, but I was dragged invited to accompany him for the week-long vacation in Bali – and I said yes! :D

Will be staying at the pool villa at Eden Residence at the Sea in Seminyak, Bali! It’s quite costly lar but oh well, I’m excited all the same! My last trip to Bali was 4 years ago after graduation and it was like a super budgeted trip cause back then we were all poor kids.

There are a few places left in Asia which I really wanna visit. First is Japan of course. I was so close to going there for a ski holiday but due to financial constraint, I could not make it. :( See, told you money is important. No money no Japan wtf. I’d love to visit HongKong and Macau too! My colleague Urtah just booked his trip to HongKong next year! And I’ve heard so much about Taiwan that I felt it’s a must to visit there as well.

I would also love to bring my parents to HK and Macau .. someday lar when I’m not this broke T_T hopefully that could happen in the near future sigh life of a broke working adult.

Ok abrupt end cause don’t know what else to say kthxbai!

Oh btw, if you would want to know how to get free travel all year long (just like me), drop a comment in the comment box, or contact me at :)

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Cheers! xoxo